Kinder questions | Understand what is important to you
How are your New Year’s resolutions going? If you are like most people – not so well. I have read that the failure rate might be as high as 95%, although 80% is more commonly cited.
Author B J Fogg suggests we avoid making big resolutions. Instead, we should go small. If you want an exercise habit start with just one exercise. Maybe even just one or two repetitions. Feel the success of that and build from there. Just one tooth if you want to floss more regularly. He calls them tiny habits and they apply to our financial lives equally well.
Big, small, or tiny, our financial resolutions shouldn’t be made in a vacuum. What do we want money for? Is our goal simply to have choice in life or do we have dreams beyond that? What does financial freedom look like for us? We should seek to live intentionally, consciously planning the future we want.
To assist that planning, an adviser might ask you what are called the Three Kinder Questions. They are worth pondering.
The first question is to imagine that you are financially secure, that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back on your dreams. Describe a life that is completely and richly yours. This question is asking what is important in life for you.
The second question assumes you have less time. You visit your doctor who tells you that you only have five to ten years left to live. You won’t ever feel sick, but you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining? Will you change your life, and how will you do it? This question doesn’t assume unlimited funds.
And the third question. Your doctor shocks you with the news that you have only have 24 hours to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What did you miss? Who did you not get to be? What did you not get to do?
These are important questions, to which you might add imagining yourself at your own funeral. How is your life being described? What do those you love say about you? That you were fully present with them? Or that you spent too much time working to create wealth that wasn’t ultimately needed? What might be important to you to be remembered for? Now is your chance to make changes if they are needed.
Once we have a life plan we have the basis for a financial plan. We don’t want to fall short in our financial needs. But overshooting at the cost of our life goals isn’t the answer either. Understanding what is important to our lives will help us find the right balance.
Author B J Fogg suggests we avoid making big resolutions. Instead, we should go small. If you want an exercise habit start with just one exercise. Maybe even just one or two repetitions. Feel the success of that and build from there. Just one tooth if you want to floss more regularly. He calls them tiny habits and they apply to our financial lives equally well.
Big, small, or tiny, our financial resolutions shouldn’t be made in a vacuum. What do we want money for? Is our goal simply to have choice in life or do we have dreams beyond that? What does financial freedom look like for us? We should seek to live intentionally, consciously planning the future we want.
To assist that planning, an adviser might ask you what are called the Three Kinder Questions. They are worth pondering.
The first question is to imagine that you are financially secure, that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back on your dreams. Describe a life that is completely and richly yours. This question is asking what is important in life for you.
The second question assumes you have less time. You visit your doctor who tells you that you only have five to ten years left to live. You won’t ever feel sick, but you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining? Will you change your life, and how will you do it? This question doesn’t assume unlimited funds.
And the third question. Your doctor shocks you with the news that you have only have 24 hours to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What did you miss? Who did you not get to be? What did you not get to do?
These are important questions, to which you might add imagining yourself at your own funeral. How is your life being described? What do those you love say about you? That you were fully present with them? Or that you spent too much time working to create wealth that wasn’t ultimately needed? What might be important to you to be remembered for? Now is your chance to make changes if they are needed.
Once we have a life plan we have the basis for a financial plan. We don’t want to fall short in our financial needs. But overshooting at the cost of our life goals isn’t the answer either. Understanding what is important to our lives will help us find the right balance.
***
Stephen McFarlane is an adviser with NZ Funds Private Wealth in Timaru. The opinions expressed in this column are his own. A copy of Stephen’s Disclosure Statements are available on request, free of charge.
***
First published in the Timaru Courier on 11 February 2021, as 'Understand what is important to you'
